I’m alive. I’m breathing. I’m living life. I’m not dead.
Because of that, I can serve others. Because of that, I can correct mistakes I’ve made. Because of that, I can worship God. Because of that, I can live to inspire others.
I’m not alive just by luck, I’m alive because of Grace- God’s grace.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
I’ve had at least 3-4 near death experiences in the past two years- A car accident. An assault. An ectopic pregnancy. And thoughts of self-harm after dealing with addictive medications.
There’s been one too many painful events that have taken place in the last few years. Each event has made me question if there was anything good worth living for.
I thought for certain that my existence was for no good. I kept making mistakes, I kept experiencing pain, and I was exhausted.
To surrender every heartache, anger, and disappointment to God was not an easy move.
Naturally, I wanted to avenge myself against those who’d hurt me. I wanted to heal my own pain. I wanted to do it my way…
…and that, of course, lead to an even bigger mess.
…oh He wasn’t done with me. He wouldn’t give up on me. He saved my life again & again.
I realized that I was privileged to be alive!
When I shifted my self-defeating, negative thoughts and lies to positive, life-giving truths God gave me through His word, I began to notice the blessings I’d taken for granted.
I can go places, still. I can make new friends. I can go to an orchestra concert at the Dolby theatre. I can break bad habits and create healthier ones. I can laugh. I can smile. I get to work. I get to create things. I get to write my stories on my website. I get to create experiences in honor of my daughter. I get to learn & walk with God in this lifetime.
A lot of my circumstances haven’t changed. I’m still experiencing heartache. I still don’t have it all together. I am still correcting mistakes I wish I hadn’t made.
But I’m alive. And so long as I’m alive, I know that there is Hope for my circumstances. They may not change tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But they will.
Today, I’m thankful for the gift of Life. Thank you, God. And thank you, Jesus, for securing the victory.