So, I’ve not always been too keen about shopping. I was raised to watch over my money more than I was taught to love and treat myself. I then came to understand later, in my adult years, that while watching how much I spent could benefit me in many ways, I shouldn’t neglect self love & care.
I enjoy shopping as much as the next girl, but every so often, guilt pops it’s ugly little head out and condemns me for wanting to treat myself. One thing is not having money to spend, and the other thing is not wanting to spend… because I don’t deserve it.
Many women are raised to believe that shopping, or any form of treating themselves, is somehow selfish, and for a rather long time… I believed that lie. I thought that if I wanted makeup, shoes, new clothes, or a new toy, I was being selfish and not at all thankful for what I already had.
“You’re fortunate to have what you have! When I was your age, if I ever complained about what I didn’t have, I would get myself a whooping.”
Messages of guilt surrounded me and I felt terrible for even wanting nice things.
Note: Now don’t get me wrong… I believe that there can come a point when women (and men) can get way too focused on making life all about what they want if there isn’t balance. While in no way it’s wrong to take care of oneself, it is also dangerous to always think of oneself more than others.
I eventually started asking myself just how much of those messages were true. I started wondering what the reasons or motives were behind them. And the more I thought about what I had been taught, the more I began to realize that while the intentions of those giving me the message might mean well, their teachings weren’t 100% truth.
I’ve slowly begun the process of learning to love and care for myself. I’ve started asking myself what it is that I like and dislike. I’ve experimented and figured out more closely what I enjoy treating myself to. I’ve also learned to do away with spending money on things I don’t like nor care for, even if others are spending their money on it.
Aside from books, coffee, and food, I’ve learned that I love buying flowers (inspired by my daughter Kairi), coffee mugs, graphic tees, jewelry, some makeup, journals, arts & crafts, and motivational quote posters. I also love buying hair and face products that allow my unique beauty to stand out.
I don’t have to go broke trying to treat myself. I don’t have to feel guilt because I enjoy shopping. And I don’t have to stop giving to others, whether through charity or other means, just because it means spending a little less on myself.
It’s all about finding the right balance.
What kinda ways do you enjoy treating yourself? How often do you treat yourself? 💜